This is how i feel.

Everyday I sit here waiting
Everyday just seems so long
And now I've had enough of all the hating
Do we even care, it's so unfair
Any day it'll all be over
Everyday there's nothing new
And now I just try to find some hope
To try and hold onto
But it starts again
It'll never end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do

Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now my mind is screaming out
I've gotta keep on fighting
But then again
It doesn't end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do?
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do
And there's nothing I can do

Feels like I'm drowning
I'm screaming for air
(Screaming for air)
Louder I'm crying
And you don't even care

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
(What can I do)
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken


I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken [x3]


I know that nobody like to read an emo post, but I really need to share my true feelings out
Its killing me...

I used to feel so happy being here, but now I feel so out of place..
What happen to all the good times??

I wish I can gain a scholarship to somewhere far away and be away..
I thought I had u guys to turn to, but I guess I was wrong...
.

Why must I feel so shattered?
I am so sick and tired of being taken granted...
I have feelings too..
Just because I give in every argument and fight does not make u guys better than me.
I wished you guys could put yourself in my shoes just for a day...
Im sick of all this shit...
Why wont u guys just leave me alone?

Kerryn misses her twin sister, baby sister and dad so much. They are the real ones that she can depend on.

I wished life wasn't such a battlefield.

OMG.

OMG, I cant stop putting on weight.
No matter how much I do my sit ups, and even star jumps, Nothing will WORK!
I even tried skipping meals and it just ended up hurting my tummy and even made me gain 2 kilos!!
Aargh!! I shall resort to SWIMMING now...
I hope it works!

I want to be healthy,
so that I dont have to feel so low at all times when weight issues are brought up!
so that I can be a good example to my children at work!
so that I can look better and fit in better in my clothes!

Gosh, dang EMO now!
feeling so low and down.
Wished I could lose weight like my twin sister! haha.
She eats sooo much, and does not exercise at all, YET she's still so TINY!
Gosh!! Assignments are killing me now! stress like SIAO!!haha

Currently missing kat and dad soo much!! Just got back home from Kuantan!
Had fun meeting up wid Ju vin and Patrick!
Its been ages since I met u, Patrick!
Glad ur still selamba even wid the STPM coming! =)
Anyways, All the best yah?=)

To all my STPM friends,
Happy studying and all the best!
I hope more of you do come to KL then can YC more often !=)

Till then,

Hearts&Kisses!

Halloween.

Hey there, Halloween is heading towards us already.
What do u have planned up for the day?
Well, I know I did celebrate Halloween early this year, but well as least I had fun. x)
Well, as promised I will update about what I dressed up as during the party, now you shall know.
But before that, I have a little announcement to make.
I will be going home from Thursday til Sunday, so if anyone is free, we shall meet up and yamcha k?=)
Ok, where was I?
Ohh yeah, about Halloween.
Well, I shall show u some pictures for u all to have a clearer illustration aite?
Words seem to be stuttered in my mouth this morning.
Still blur in the early morning, plus hungry as well!

Enjoy the pictures kay?


This was the venue. At Mont Kiara. I dont remember the name of the hall though.

the goodie bags that were so superly eye-catching!

The French maid decided to be a Darth Vader. She wanted to kill her evil employer!

The clown that entertained the children and also us..*ishs paiseh =X* he can seriously make ppl laugh.


The pumpkin, Dark Angel and French Maid. The Dark Angel is the employer of the French Maid.

Close up of the Dark Angel.

the Pirate that was waiting for his victims. lol.

The Pirate fell in love with the efficient French Maid and holds on to her so tightly so that she can hire her!

Last but not least, the female Pirate fell in love with the male Pirate!

Baby,
Im sorry for crazy PMS-ing mood swings,
I know it hasnt been easy for both of us,
But thank u for being by my side.
<3 u.

P/s : Tickets are still up for grabs! =)

Till then,

Hearts&Kisses.

DO YOU WANT TO ROCK YOUR HALLOWEEN NIGHT AWAY IN AN AWESOME GIG??!!!!

WELL NOW, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE!!
I AM CURRENTLY HOLDING THREE TICKETS TO WATCH THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS LIVE IN MALAYSIA!!
YESS,, U READ IT RIGHT!!

THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS ARE GONNA BE DOWN THIS HALLOWEEN!!


I AM STARTING OFF MY TICKET PRICES AT RM50 PER TICKET! WHOEVER BIDS GETS HIGHER THAN THAT, SHALL BE THE PERSON THAT GETS IT!

TRUST ME, THEY ARE INDEED AWESOME! I WATCH THEM ROCKED THE MTV WORLD STAGE CONCERT LIVE IN SUNWAY LAGOON!

I am selling my tickets because I wont be available on that day!! =(
So, I do hope the tickets can be sold off as I do not want it to go to waste!! =)



SOO, TO ALL THE GIRLS AND GUYS OUT THERE WHO'S BEEN WAITING TO HAVE FUN AND ROCK ALL NIGHT, WATCHA WAITING FOR??!!!!

just email me at : kerryn90@gmail.com or simple just leave me a comment in my CBOX!!! , if u are interested!


Remember, this is so not a joke! It is true that this band will be flying all their way down to Malaysia this 31st October 2009!

Venue: Stadium Putra, Bukit Jalil
Time : 6pm onwards


P/s : Its free seating/standing!!!! so, if u make ur way early there, ur probably be sooo near and upclose to the stage until u can reach out for their hands and also the free gifts that they will be tossing all night!


To all the All American Rejects fans out there, hurry and grab ur places as it is very limited!

Hope to hear from you all soon!!

Love 'em.

So, here I am again back here typing this!
Classes are real hectic this semester!
And results are finally out!!
Am happy with my results! hopefully its good enuff for the dean and lecturers!haha.
BTW, I did not manage to post up previously that my parents are currently in China and they put Katricia here with us in KL.
Its been almost WEEK since my parents are gone!
Life aint that fun without them especially when ur allowance has ran out and ur credit card is reaching its limit and u have no one to pay it. xP
I cant wait for them to return this Monday nite!
By the time I reach home from class, I should be able to see them!
I miss both of them, especially dad!
I really miss his lame jokes and his nagging sumtimes. maybe then I wouldnt have spend that much.
In another different note, the soonest the parents are home, it means kat will be leaving KL!
I am sure gonna feel the pinch when she's not around!
We been hanging out alot, and tomorrow we are going to Times Square and play the theme park too!
I really hope we will have a great time!
Oooh yeah, I know its posted up already on blogs and facebook about the reunion a.k.a suprise party for Ju vin at TGiF, Sunway with the beloved ones, but I am still gonna post up sum pictures here.
I dont have all the pictures with me, as my camera is not wid me at the moment.
I have posted up mostly all the pictures of my beloved ones, only one of them is stucked in my cam!
Picture with my very very very goodfriend since high school, Yeh Hee! I miss him soo much!
I always bumped into him from time to time, but never really got the chance to chat up till that day! am glad u showed up for the suprise party!

Nevertheless,some pictures here before I have to sign off!
Enjoy!


Jelly, wantheng and me. miss them tons!


me and baby!
baby, i wanna say sorry for being offguard this past few days. I know that I spend alot of time wid my sisters and also being frustrated with that person until we did argue! Im really sorry baby boy! i love u so much til the bottom of my heart!thanks for being the best! and I noe both of us have been broke like mad! dun worry, I will find a way for us to have some cash k?=)

My high sch bestfriend/ 3 years of sitting sided by side classmate! I love her so much! she looked real hot! x)


kar, theng and me.

A group picture of the roses and one thorn! Everybody was supposed to come in this pic but the guys refuse except my baby whom super love to camwhore! haha.

me, juvin and kar ravishing for cupcakes.

candid shot of me and baby choosing cupcakes together! hahaha.

finally! a group picture of all the peeps that were there!

And the birthday cupcakes for SEE JU VIN!(highlighted in purple just for u!haha)
I knoow it was a real late birthday party that we threw for u,
But I hope u had fun and love it!
I miss all the times we used to spend together especially during recess time in high sch, I also remember u made me a very special Valentines Card because I had a hard breakup that time, during P.E a teacher literally insulted me and u called her a bitch infront of her bcux u din wan me to feel down, u and elton were the ones whom accompany me to dinner when I first came down KL,u went to practically every music stall just to find the limited edition Forever Chris Brown's CD, and also many more which I can never be thankful enough!

I love u, SEE JU VIN! =)


Ok, I shall end my post now!
BTW, I attended a Halloween Birthday Bash earlier this afternoon.
Pictures are currently in my baby Samsung camera, and as I dont have them now, I cant upload them yet!
When my baby cam is back in my hands, I will update it k?


GUESS WHAT CHARACTER I PLAYED FOR HALLOWEEN ??

(a CLUE)

First, I wasnt a princess....
Second, I wasnt an angel....
And thirdly,I think that's enough of clues for u all to read n guess from...


Hahahahahahaha......


till then,

Hearts&Kisses!

Where do I belong?

Aaarghhh!!!!
Time really flies!
My 2 weeks of semester break just flew away just like that!
I got to admit, I had an amazing semester break.
I rarely say this, because I used to never really enjoy my semester break.
I mean almost everybody in class would practically carry their luggages and bags in the aim of taking a bus home to their hometown while I dread to stay on in KL to work.
However, as far as I think everyone who reads my blog noes that I am no longer working. therefore I can fully enjoy my holidays now.
I aint gonna lie that I hate working while studying.
It is really hectic and practically I dun have any time for myself.
But now, I have time to finally live my life as a student. (always quoted by my twin sis.lol.)
Anyways, 2day is my last day of holiday!
Am dreading to go back to college though!
Sometimes I feel so alone and lost like I don't belong even though there are loads of ppl around me.
Sometimes I even wonder why I was chosen as president when I can barely communicate wid them ( p/s : mandarin).
I used to be real emo and hate myself for not knowing mandarin.
However, with all the great support from my high sch friends, I am proud just as who I am.
Thanks u all for letting me know that I have your backs!
Oooh gooosh..this post is turning emo again!
I was abit emo, but something baby told me just now made me smile.
He knows how much I feel alone here in KL and dun belong.
As usual I was whining to him about feeling not belong,
and he said, " U noe y u dun feel belong with them? it is because you belong with me".
I almost cried hearing him said that.
He never fails to make my heart melt and put that big fat smile on my face.
How can I not love him, right? hahaha. xP.
Ok, now instead of being emo, Im turning cheesy.
Gooooshhhh.....I shall pen off..
I have to do my scholarship work at 8a.m 2moro!
P/s : Results are gonna be out soon AGAIN!
*Crosses fingers* Let's hope I score all A's again and maintain my 3.8 cgpa!
Me don't want my scholarship to be taken away! =X.

BTW, I did attend Pastor Richard's wedding.
Got to say, thumbs up to Michel for being their well-planned wedding planner at the age of 19!
And also Congratulations to them! May the good Lord bless their love and family! =)

Photos at the moment are not wid me.
Maybe if I manage to get them, I will post up some.=)

don't you just love the irresistible turqouise nail colour?

baby,
I love you,
I wanna hug u tight in my arms,
I missh u.

Study hard for ur exam k?x)

Till then,

XOXO's.

Hello Kitty, much?

Heys!
I am finally back here at Damansara.
Actly I came home on Wed, but I guess I was too caught up wid shopping?xP.
Hmmphs..I had an awesome 2 weeks of sem break soo far, too bad its gonna end this monday.=(.
Hopefully I will be able to get to attend the noon classes for my Malaysian Studiesm if not, I will be stucked in college from Monday til Saturday.
I mean who really wants to drive all the way to college every single day?
I noe for sure not me. haha.
Well, I have pictures of the Kellies' Castle to upload..tons of them actly.
But I will save it for another post.
Gambang trip was also awesome! Despite the fact that me n baby kene bullied by 2 11 years old children (a.k.a kat & belle).lol.
I am dang burnt btw! I am roasted by the insane sun that blazes all around especially Kuantan!
Strange as it sounds, the temperature here in KL is not insane as it is in Kuantan.
Probably the haze blocks out the blazing rays from heating here in KL.
But I aint gonna say that KL is a way better place to stay.
I still adore Kuantan and my hommies there. =)
Speaking of which, I am totally missing them like heaps.
Wan theng is back in Kuantan today!
No0oooo!! I missed her in just a few days!
But no worries, she's gonna be down in KL visiting and probably we are gonna hit the Sunway Lagoon waves together!
Cant wait!
BTW, I did mentioned that my dear friend, Loren will be down in Kuantan while I was home right?
And guess what?!! I totally forgot about camwhoring wid him again!Aduihs!!pelupa me! haha

Anyways, I shall get going!
Got a whole day ahead of me! (yeah right?haha)
I actly watched 3 movies berturut-turut last night! Jeez. and I said I have a life. haha.
Ok, I better stop penning now!
Gotta get ready to fetch kar from Kelana then go One Utama shopping wid her! =). hehe.


Here's some pictures before I log off :

Crocs, anyone? Maybe get me 1 for christmas ?x)

Oooh.. I am currently addicted to reading this too. Its actly a limited collectors edition! I have 10 of em! 2 more to go to complete my collcetion! =)

And now I proudly present you my very own hello kitty shoes! hehehe. Dun believe I own hello kitty shoes?

Here's the proof!

A close-up of my HK shoes! Dang adorable horh? I love it so much! am gonna wear it out later too! =)..

And also another 9 more days : My 9th month anniversary wid baby!, and another 12 more days, my baobei is turning 19 years old! x)

I hope you enjoy the plans that I have installed for ur bday!

Love u so much and it will keep on growing. x)

Till then,

XOXO's.